Gerald's Legs
2005-03-29 - 10:26 a.m.

His legs below his knees disappeared and he was left standing on the air with two bleeding stubs. In the carnival tent that he had pitched in the meadow, he searched for the missing extremities. The search did not last long, and he simply lost hope. His name was Gerald Jones, and he was a hopeless man. Instead of dedicating himself to the search for the vanished calves and feet, he tried to find other things to fill the emptiness. It was apparent to the birds who fluttered around him that what this human was missing was a great deal of his legs, but it appeared as if Gerald Jones had forgotten this. The sense of loss and sadness had clouded his head, and he began overeating, kissing fishes, and paying women to undress themselves. These things did not help his sense of unfulfilled-insides, and poor Gerald sunk deeper into a brutal depression. Gerald's next move was to leave the circus tent, and try his hand at wealth. A wealth of something, he thought, would undoubtedly fill his shaky spirits. Money seemed the obvious thing to obtain a wealth of. He got into the beach business, and began buying and selling shores of sand. Gerald, that unfortunate soul who had so long ago buried the memory of his missing appendages, missed his chance for true happiness. That lad was so caught up in the trade of sandy beaches and the money it brought him, that he hired others to do the beach inspecting while he stayed in his office and built castles out of coins. Two inspectors of his were wandering a particularly lovely beach. They noted on their clipboards each lovely characteristic. A great deal of training had made them keen judges of everything that makes up a good beach. Tragically, it was on this particularly lovely beach that they passed the missing legs. Their training had not taught them to look out for the things missing in the lives of their bosses, and thusly they made no note of the beach containing a pair of brilliantly hairy lower legs. The legs got on with their life, and Gerald lived to a ripe old miserable age.

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