Delicious ways to baffle the beach
2006-01-25 - 1:11 a.m.

Oh life just won't let me get confortable with it. Some day I'll turn myself into a cat with a stockpile of canned fish items and the ability to use the can opener. Then I shall curl up in various sunny and carpeted regions and purr the days away.

Not to say, of course, that certain new developments aren't positively enchanting. It all just leaves me with a crooked spine and shoes where I ought to have ankles. Soon the confusion shall be replaced with fourteen thousand pairs of interesting socks and a new outlook on glass beads. Already things are churning and melting and becoming fortresses of metalic seasonings. I haven't got a clue as to where we go from here, but allow me the pleasure of being a loon. Someday I'll be grooming my loon feathers and wondering how I ever doubted such developments. Let's stand up and hope for gleaming white pads of paper on which to tear apart, digest, urinate upon, and fuse together with magnetic irony.

Oh please somebody come and explain to me what in the name of salad I'm talking about.

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